Our London Anniversary

Well it came and went...over a month ago. But it will be one year at the end of March in our flat in Putney, so I'm not too far behind:)

Our first year in London has been one heck of ride. In the span of a year we traveled, played tourist in our hometown, watched Riya reach so many milestones, the biggest being her ability to talk (and yes she does have a slight accent. I'm so proud!), spent Luca's 10th birthday here, and expanded our family. I love living in a city that has different seasons. I love living in a city that is lively and cultured. And most importantly, I love sharing a zip code with the Royal family:)

Living in London has opened my eyes to a new way of life. The idea of raising small children in a big city that relied mainly on public transportation has always been unappealing to me.  Walking on the sidewalk and having people in close proximity would freak me out. I always dismissed Ram's desire to live in New York for those reasons. But here we are! I don't even notice the people anymore as I walk around. I've become another floating head lost in a sea of people. It is tricky not having a car when you have car seat and stroller bound children, especially on the weekends when you just want to jump in the car and go instead of waiting 20 minutes to finally catch a bus that can accommodate my stroller. But its a trade off.

One thing hasn't changed, I'm still at a loss for friends with kids. Usually by the one year mark we are happily settled with a new circle of friends but this city is just too spread out and I haven't connected with anyone. Honestly, I'm over it. It is unfortunate because we are so happy here but don't have that social aspect to go along with it. Its one of the few cons of expat life. We got lucky with our friendships in Aberdeen and Dubai, so I guess our luck ran out. Ram gets my daily dose of "this happened and then that" and truth be told he's probably the only person that actually cares about my day in that aspect, so I can't complain. Ram, on the other hand, may have a complaint or two!

Looking back at how small Riya was when we first arrived in our new hometown is such an eye opener. So much has changed in a year and here's to many more in London!

And here she is now, my grown up baby girl.

The newborn phase

I have a lot of friends that became first and second time moms over the last few months and some expecting this year. Sucks we aren't in the same city! Luckily for me, my "maternity leave" is open ended. I feel really bad for those that only get 6 weeks leave. That is hardly enough time to cope with the new change in your life.

But most women probably think they will have all this time to do stuff during their maternity leave. When in actuality, you really can't start that craft project or your workout routine or check off everything on your "to do" list (unless you don't value sleep). You know what that means? The television is your new best friend.

Yep, that's right. TV is my new best friend. More specifically, Apple TV. The TV is there for all your emotional needs, even at 2am. If I need a laugh all I have to do is turn on the TV and watch a comedy (currently binge watching How I Met Your Mother and Friends again). Need some intellectual stimulation? Watch a trivia show. Need a reminder of what life was like B.C. (before children)? Cue Sex and The City. Need to cry? There's a show for that too.

And this best friend doesn't judge you if you haven't showered and you are sitting in your pajamas on the couch with spit up all over you (because you've already changed your shirt 3 times today and let's face it, there's really no point in adding more clothes to your laundry bin).

My best friend comes in handy when my poor colicky/refluxy baby is at his worst (2pm-2am). Although to be honest, I am having a hard time finding new shows to get into. I tried Orange is the New Black. Ehhh. The plot got old after season 1. I tried Making a Murderer. Ehhh. I mean a whole season dedicated to one case is painfully slow for me but maybe that's because I'm a lawyer. Master of None was good but I found some of the cast and scenes awkward.

I don't consider myself a big TV junkie. Obviously we have certain shows on rotation like The Arrow, The Flash, Scandal, Game of Thrones, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Inside Amy Schumer and of course my reality shows: Top Chef, Keeping up with the Kardashians, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Ladies of London, Made in Chelsea, and Million Dollar Property Listings.

That's not junkie status, is it? It doesn't count when I have to wait to watch 80% of the shows with Ram, right? Well I am now accepting show suggestions to add to my list...please share!

Parenting 2.0

Having one baby seems like such a piece of cake compared to two children under 4!

The second time around I knew what to expect. But there are also new challenges you face. Riya is still quite young and her attention span is short, so its impossible to ask a 2 year old to sit still for 30 minutes every 2 hours while you feed the baby. This new sibling that magically turned up into her life, has dethroned her from being number 1, and is expected to be loved by her unconditionally.

I sympathize for her plight. I sympathize for all first borns.

I was incredibly nervous about making room for two. Riya has been the center of my world for over 2 years and I'm not going to lie, it was hard to bond with the baby during my pregnancy because I was still quite focused on Riya's needs. But Rayan is pretty low maintenance and this poop-eat-poop-sleep routine he has going on is a blessing. It has made the transition for both Riya and I easier.

The beauty of having a second child is that you have the benefit of hindsight. All the rookie mistakes I made as a first time Mom can be eliminated.

This time I knew I wouldn't be able to keep house and have control over everything. When I had Riya, I was disillusioned into thinking I could still cook, clean, be a pleasant wife, and take care of Riya...on 5 hours of disjointed sleep a day. I was very frustrated with myself that I couldn't do it all. But I eventually learned that its just not possible. And that its okay. This time, I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I knew I had to let go and ask for help...no sense in wasting energy I didn't have to accomplish everyday tasks I simply cannot do!

This time I knew I could not stress about how long the baby fed or how much sleep he got in a 24 hour period. Because no matter what the books and "experts" say, it changes on a daily basis. I stressed about the length of sleep, the number of poopy diapers, and everything in between with Riya.  I was obsessed with my baby tracker app. Looking back I want to laugh at my rookie self about how much time and energy I spent on this. I'm sure Ram thought I was coo-coo. If you asked me how many hours Rayan slept in a day, I could not tell you!

This time around my stress lies elsewhere. My anxiety peaks at 5:30/6pm when both my kids need me at the same time. Riya and Rayan both want to eat at the same time. And then its time for Riya to take a bath and get ready for bed. Somewhere in between I'm supposed to prep for dinner so we don't end up eating at 9pm.

The other overwhelming factor this time is the guilt I feel over having to split my time between my two kids. My first priority was to make Riya feel important and to give her as much attention as possible. This has not been an easy task on very little sleep but I felt strongly about having as much alone time with Riya as possible. Right now, Rayan doesn't know the difference between me holding him or my Mom or Ram or the bouncer. Riya, on the other hand, knows when my focus has strayed (and sometimes takes advantage)!

I have mad respect for those that have children close in age and for those that are daring to have a third. Everyday is a learning experience with my munchkins but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Month One with Rayan

My baby boy is already 4 weeks old. Part of me is glad we are already a third of the way through with the newborn phase but the other part of me wants time to slow down. He is most likely our last baby, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. (I have to remind myself of that sometimes during the 1, 3 and 5am feeds). This boy has a hearty appetite. Riya was on a predictable routine from the get go, every 3 hours. But this boy wants to eat ALL day and has started to do 4-5 hour stretches at night, giving me a much needed break. I hope this means he will start sleeping though the night earlier than Riya which was at 4 months.

Apart from his insatiable appetite, I really can't complain. Rayan is a doll. He's already handling Riya's poking and proding like a champ:) The second babies have to put up with a lot straight from the get go! Riya adores her baby brother and can't keep her hands off of him. I am looking forward to seeing their relationship and bond grow over the next year.

I cannot get over the similarities between Rayan and Riya. When he was born the first thing I said was he looked exactly like Riya. Take a look:

Here are some pictorial highlights of his first few weeks of life:

Merry Christmas from the Aiyers...

...a few days late. I'm sure you can understand why :)

At just one week old, Rayan celebrated his first Christmas in London. It wasn't our best day, as baby and I were very sleep deprived and Riya is still miserable from teething her 2 year molars. But Riya enjoyed opening presents this year at least! We spoiled her this year and bought her new pajamas, another train set (this one is girly), 2 more lego duplo sets, her first doll, a gear puzzle, table hockey, and stickers. From her grandma, she got a homemade chair kitchen and kaleidoscope. Her aunts/uncles bought her some clothes. I guess you can say we all went a bit overboard:) But the smile on her face was worth it!

Rayan has arrived!

I cannot believe I had a baby one week ago...

Rayan was born at 6:45am on December 17th at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. He was 4 days early:) He weighed 6lbs 7oz and 16.9 inches tall. After 25 hours of labor and delivery, we happily welcomed our newest addition to the family.

My pregnancy experience in London has been very different than my experience in Dubai. But I have to say, overall I was very pleased with the treatment I received. For one thing, I am in a country where they embrace the concept of VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). Typically, once you've had a Cesarean, most doctors won't allow you to have a VBAC. While there is strong support that VBACs are the safer alternative, not all countries adopt this way of thinking. Luckily for me, I was in the right place at the right time. I was still at high risk for having a cesarean if complications ensued, but the system here was willing to let me have a VBAC.

The role of the midwife is central during your pregnancy. They supervise your pregnancy from start to finish. Obstetricians exist but they are specialized and address only high risk cases. So if you are having an uncomplicated pregnancy, you may only see the doctor once or twice throughout your pregnancy. Unlike the US however, you are assigned to a team of midwives, so you may not always see the same person at every appointment. So that means, you have no way of knowing who will be in the delivery room with you. Since this was not my first pregnancy, that fact didn't bother me much. But repeating my pregnancy history over and over again was exhausting (because they can't be bothered to take a minute to read your chart).

Not surprisingly, when I showed up at the hospital at 2am on Thursday morning, I was under the care of a midwife I had never seen before. But she was awesome. And in case you were wondering, the doctor came in twice. Once at the beginning to check my vitals and then again just after the baby was born.

Under NHS, you have a private room for delivery and then you are moved to the recovery ward where you recuperate in a room with 5 other mothers and their newborns and a community bathroom. Some hospitals have a private wing and offer a private room with private bath but the price tag was an astonishing $450 per night. Oh, and you cannot reserve a room ahead of time, its available on a first come, first serve basis. Moreover, if you have a normal delivery, you are expected to discharge anywhere from 6-24 hours after delivery. If you have a cesarean or gestational diabetes during your pregnancy (I had the latter), you are allowed to stay 48 hours. The length of stay came as a shock to me, especially if things didn't go my way and I needed a cesarean. Remembering how it was the first time around, 2 days seemed too soon.

After giving birth, I had a few hours alone in the delivery room (we got lucky) to enjoy our baby boy before we were rolled out to the recovery ward where I stayed for 2 days with 5 other women and their newborn babies. That was an interesting experience.  I was lucky to have a sleepy newborn, but a few other women did not. And I became privy to nasty arguments between spouses, which at first was entertaining but then got old really quick. I wanted to yell out, "get it together people! and shut the hell up!!!"

But as I said, overall I was very pleased with the care I received. I wanted a true London experience and I got one!

Now without further adue, here is a snapshot of week one with my cutie pie. Riya wants to hold her baby brother all the time which is challenging but oh so cute:)

Hive Five! 

He looks just like his daddy:) 

Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park

I'm so glad we are not moving and can actually enjoy all things Christmas this year! The minute Ram told me about the Christmas Market and Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park, I marked my calendar and was determined to take Riya. The event opened the weekend before Thanksgiving but since I don't believe in doing anything Christmas related until AFTER Thanksgiving, we waited till the following weekend.

It got quite cold/windy/cloudy that week but I didn't want to wait since we have no way of telling when baby plans to make his debut (T-2 weeks!). So we rode the bus for 40 minutes to South Kensington and then walked another 10 to Hyde Park. The event was well planned and thought out. Much better than the one we attended in Dubai. I know its not fair to compare, but I couldn't help myself :p

They even had little open cottages with big fires for you to sit and enjoy a cuppa or some yummy belgian waffles. There was a heated carousel bar, which I thought was pretty cool. They also had an ice skating rink, Santa's Grotto, and an indoor ski slope type thingy amongst all the carnival rides and food.

Fire pit

A few minutes in we spotted a Reindeer roller coaster ride for Riya and she immediately wanted to get on....and round and round she went. SIX times. It was her first roller coaster experience. The girl was obsessed.

Whilst waiting why not take a selfie?!

After we peeled Riya away from the Reindeer, we walked around a bit and enjoyed the cosy fire pit and food before heading back home for nap time. When we got home I realized we didn't make time for Santa (DOH!).