Having one baby seems like such a piece of cake compared to two children under 4!
The second time around I knew what to expect. But there are also new challenges you face. Riya is still quite young and her attention span is short, so its impossible to ask a 2 year old to sit still for 30 minutes every 2 hours while you feed the baby. This new sibling that magically turned up into her life, has dethroned her from being number 1, and is expected to be loved by her unconditionally.
I sympathize for her plight. I sympathize for all first borns.
I was incredibly nervous about making room for two. Riya has been the center of my world for over 2 years and I'm not going to lie, it was hard to bond with the baby during my pregnancy because I was still quite focused on Riya's needs. But Rayan is pretty low maintenance and this poop-eat-poop-sleep routine he has going on is a blessing. It has made the transition for both Riya and I easier.
The beauty of having a second child is that you have the benefit of hindsight. All the rookie mistakes I made as a first time Mom can be eliminated.
This time I knew I wouldn't be able to keep house and have control over everything. When I had Riya, I was disillusioned into thinking I could still cook, clean, be a pleasant wife, and take care of Riya...on 5 hours of disjointed sleep a day. I was very frustrated with myself that I couldn't do it all. But I eventually learned that its just not possible. And that its okay. This time, I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I knew I had to let go and ask for help...no sense in wasting energy I didn't have to accomplish everyday tasks I simply cannot do!
This time I knew I could not stress about how long the baby fed or how much sleep he got in a 24 hour period. Because no matter what the books and "experts" say, it changes on a daily basis. I stressed about the length of sleep, the number of poopy diapers, and everything in between with Riya. I was obsessed with my baby tracker app. Looking back I want to laugh at my rookie self about how much time and energy I spent on this. I'm sure Ram thought I was coo-coo. If you asked me how many hours Rayan slept in a day, I could not tell you!
This time around my stress lies elsewhere. My anxiety peaks at 5:30/6pm when both my kids need me at the same time. Riya and Rayan both want to eat at the same time. And then its time for Riya to take a bath and get ready for bed. Somewhere in between I'm supposed to prep for dinner so we don't end up eating at 9pm.
The other overwhelming factor this time is the guilt I feel over having to split my time between my two kids. My first priority was to make Riya feel important and to give her as much attention as possible. This has not been an easy task on very little sleep but I felt strongly about having as much alone time with Riya as possible. Right now, Rayan doesn't know the difference between me holding him or my Mom or Ram or the bouncer. Riya, on the other hand, knows when my focus has strayed (and sometimes takes advantage)!
I have mad respect for those that have children close in age and for those that are daring to have a third. Everyday is a learning experience with my munchkins but I wouldn't have it any other way!
The second time around I knew what to expect. But there are also new challenges you face. Riya is still quite young and her attention span is short, so its impossible to ask a 2 year old to sit still for 30 minutes every 2 hours while you feed the baby. This new sibling that magically turned up into her life, has dethroned her from being number 1, and is expected to be loved by her unconditionally.
I sympathize for her plight. I sympathize for all first borns.
I was incredibly nervous about making room for two. Riya has been the center of my world for over 2 years and I'm not going to lie, it was hard to bond with the baby during my pregnancy because I was still quite focused on Riya's needs. But Rayan is pretty low maintenance and this poop-eat-poop-sleep routine he has going on is a blessing. It has made the transition for both Riya and I easier.
The beauty of having a second child is that you have the benefit of hindsight. All the rookie mistakes I made as a first time Mom can be eliminated.
This time I knew I wouldn't be able to keep house and have control over everything. When I had Riya, I was disillusioned into thinking I could still cook, clean, be a pleasant wife, and take care of Riya...on 5 hours of disjointed sleep a day. I was very frustrated with myself that I couldn't do it all. But I eventually learned that its just not possible. And that its okay. This time, I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I knew I had to let go and ask for help...no sense in wasting energy I didn't have to accomplish everyday tasks I simply cannot do!
This time I knew I could not stress about how long the baby fed or how much sleep he got in a 24 hour period. Because no matter what the books and "experts" say, it changes on a daily basis. I stressed about the length of sleep, the number of poopy diapers, and everything in between with Riya. I was obsessed with my baby tracker app. Looking back I want to laugh at my rookie self about how much time and energy I spent on this. I'm sure Ram thought I was coo-coo. If you asked me how many hours Rayan slept in a day, I could not tell you!
This time around my stress lies elsewhere. My anxiety peaks at 5:30/6pm when both my kids need me at the same time. Riya and Rayan both want to eat at the same time. And then its time for Riya to take a bath and get ready for bed. Somewhere in between I'm supposed to prep for dinner so we don't end up eating at 9pm.
The other overwhelming factor this time is the guilt I feel over having to split my time between my two kids. My first priority was to make Riya feel important and to give her as much attention as possible. This has not been an easy task on very little sleep but I felt strongly about having as much alone time with Riya as possible. Right now, Rayan doesn't know the difference between me holding him or my Mom or Ram or the bouncer. Riya, on the other hand, knows when my focus has strayed (and sometimes takes advantage)!
I have mad respect for those that have children close in age and for those that are daring to have a third. Everyday is a learning experience with my munchkins but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Oh gosh that stupid baby tracker app. I was sooooo OCD about F's sleep. I wish I could be there to hold little Rayan for you. Sounds like you are adjusting wonderfully. Those two precious little ones are so lucky to have you as a momma.
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